My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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