Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
