just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
