this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
