When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That accounts for only three of the penises
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
