No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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