we're blogging at a bar
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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