Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
