I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
