Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
