So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
