just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
