where am i from again
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
