I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
