it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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