Three words: puerto rican gang bang
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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