so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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