I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
