He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
