Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize