You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize