my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
