I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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