you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
