It's like God shit irony all over that family
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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