Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize