belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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