So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
