Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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