# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
