Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
