look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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