how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
