She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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