I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
