sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's official drugs can't kill me
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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