Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
