Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
