also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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