just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
two words...techno handjob
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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