Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i already hear my dad disowning me
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
