He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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