so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
