you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
