Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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