Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
