dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
