Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
