i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
