I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
