drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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