I hope my margaritas pass through security.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
