Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
