you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
