I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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