you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
