6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
