So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
