You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
