literally had 100 drinks last night.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
