Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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