well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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