Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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