So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
